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“It’s Jesus Day and I’m not wearing a bra!!!!” (a true story)
[FONT=Times New Roman,Times,serif]”It’s Jesus Day and I’m not wearing a bra!!!!”[/FONT]
This is a true story. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent.
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Last Saturday was my niece’s last church class before her first communion, which is Saturday, 3 May. Morgan and her mum, my sister-in-law Bonnie, got up and rushed her to the church. Bonnie had gotten up and just threw on an old pair of cut-off sweat pants with bleach spots on them, an old tee-shirt, no bra and just pulled her unwashed hair up in one of my nephew’s baseball caps.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]When they got to the church, Morgan asked Bonnie why she wasn’t coming inside. Bonnie asked her why she needed to come inside. Morgan responded, “It’s ‘Jesus Day’ and all the kids are supposed to have their parents with them!”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Needless to say, Bonnie had a panic attack. She and Morgan had a rather loud volley of “I can’t come in, Morgan! Look at how I’m dressed!!” and “But mum!!! You have to come in! You have to!” This, of course, got the attention of all the other kids and their parents as they were walking up the path to the church.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]At that same time, Bonnie’s friend came by as her daughter was also attending the class. She heard the conversation and took a look at Bonnie and said, “Oh, honey! You can’t go in there looking like that!!!”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Bonnie told her friend to take Morgan inside and that she’d call her husband, Greg, at work and ask him to go to the Jesus Day assembly whilst she went home to clean herself up. On her way home, she rang Greg. In Bonnie’s mind, she’d thought she explained everything clearly to Greg. What Greg got on his end was Bonnie, in a manic voice saying, “Greg! Go to the church! It’s Jesus Day and I’m not wearing a bra!!!!”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Greg’s only reaction was, “What the Hell are you talking about??!!”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]After explaining the situation to him, Greg agreed to leave work and attend the festivities. When Greg arrived at the assembly hall, he was unable to find Morgan amidst all of the other children. He started asking the teachers to help him find his daughter. One woman, giving him the evil eye, came up to him and said, “You don’t know what your daughter looks like?!”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Embarrassed, Greg responded, “Erhm… I didn’t dress her this morning. Erhm… I’ll call my wife.”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]He turned around and dialed Bonnie up to find out what Morgan was wearing. By the time he’d ended the call, the 200 children had put on the Jesus Day t-shirts they were given and that made things even worse. Finally, one man came up to Greg and told him that the children were separated into groups by the class they were in. He and a couple other sympathetic teachers asked Greg who Morgan’s teacher was. He had no clue.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Even more embarrassed, he turned around slowly and said, “Erhm… Let me call my wife again.” The teachers and some of the parents were clearly unimpressed with the apparent lack of interest Bonnie and Greg had in their child’s religious development.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Greg rang Bonnie again. This time she’d had it with Jesus Day and all the interrupting phone calls that prevented her from getting herself cleaned up and put together. When asked who Morgan’s teacher was, she yelled into the phone, “How the Hell should I know what her name is??!! All I can tell is she’s kinda fat…!!!!”[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Greg quickly shut the phone off and turned to face the angry mob who’d obviously heard Bonnie’s response to his question. One woman stepped up and scolded Greg. “Your daughter has been in this class for six weeks! You don’t know who her teacher is and all your wife knows is that the teacher is ‘kinda fat’!!!!” Greg pretty much wanted to die right then and there.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]He was eventually able to locate Morgan and at the end of the assembly, he hugged her and told her that he had to get back to work. Morgan burst into tears and said, “No! No!! You have to stay for the party! All the other parents are staying for the party!!!!” This, of course, drew more stares from the parents who, by this time, had already gotten wind of the comments Bonnie had made about the teacher after refusing to attend the assembly and party.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Greg looked at Morgan and said, “I’m sorry. I have to get back to work but mummy will be here in a little bit to pick you up.” He left with his tail between his legs and went back to work. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Bonnie’s sure the church is going to call them up this week and tell her that Morgan can’t take communion ‘cos she and Greg are bad parents.[/FONT]
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