• New Star Wars Movies for the Purists Fans – FUNNY THREAD

  Posted by Unknown Member on June 6, 2002 at 6:03 PM

  OK, you all know the type of fan I’m talking about: they live in 1980 and think the last good Star Wars movie was The Empire Strikes Back. They think that no new movie will ever recapture the magic they got out of Star Wars way back then (without giving a thought to the fact that they were an easily impressed child back then, who lived in a world before blockbuster movies).

  Well, whatever the case may be, they rant and complain that George Lucas has lost his touch. They won’t go see the new movies or collect the prequel action figures, and they think that it was OK for Star Wars to push the film industry’s envelope back then, but now C,G, and I are letters that Sesaeme Street should boycott.

  Well, have I got good news for them! Episode 3 has been completely re-written just to satisfy these fans! Here take a look at this secretly stolen plot outline taken out of George Lucas’ garbage can and finally cleaned off of rotting fruit left on it since 1980!

  STAR WARS EPISODE 3: The Fans’ Hope

  It is a period of civil war and Padme Skywalker has already had some baby as the movie opens. She is being pursued by the Separatists’ sinister agents when her ship gets captured. So she stuffs her baby inside R2D2 and launches him in an escape pod.

  Count Dooku has Padme taken away and carbon frozen. He gives her frozen form to Boba Fett to take to Nute Gunray for the price on her head.

  Meanwhile, Anakin’s Jedi Starfighter has crashed on a swampy moon of Coruscant where an old guy in a Dark Robe lives kind of like a hermit and starts to instruct him with a Sith Holocron. Anakin levitates his Jedi Starfighter and learns to use the Force to “Sith-choke” local swamp vermin.

  R2 finds Threepio to take him to Obi-Wan Kenobi because he needs someone who can translate that “he’s not a nanny droid and he doesn’t do diapers.” R2 burps, hiccups, and farts a lot in this movie.

  Meanwhile, Anakin learns Padme has been captured and rushes to confront Nute Gunray and unfreeze her…..

  At the same time Obi-Wan and several important Jedi Leaders are analyzing the technical schematics between Huggies and Pampers and trying to discover the advantages. For some yet unexplained reason, after R2 launches the first baby out of one of his dome portals, it STILL sounds like the little droid is crying…

  Need I go on?

  Purists….:rolleyes:

  Unknown Member replied 22 years, 6 months ago 0 Member · 53 Replies
• 53 Replies

Log In to Reply