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What is up with Wal-Mart?
A little while back I was at the Super Wal-Mart here in El Paso at around 8:00 AM doing some early morning Star Wars hunting before going to work. When I walked in I noticed a large group of Wal-Mart employees clustered together next to the perfume section and paid it little mind as I made my way to the Star Wars aisle. I figured they were just having an average everyday meeting before starting the day shift.
Coming out of the Star Wars aisle with nothing but a Gungan Warrior (this was a few months ago) I headed over to the magazine section. Before I got there, though, I began to hear this rhythmic clapping. I looked up and saw all the Wal-Mart employees clapping in unison and begin to chant, “Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart!….” This went on for a good 30 seconds! Totally freaked me out!
The first thing that popped through my head was, “What kind of brainwashed, Satanic ritual is this?” It was creepy. As in “back out slowly before you get offered as a human sacrifice kind of creepy.” I quickly paid for my Gungan and left the store without looking back.
I just want to know, has anyone else observed this bizarre behavior pattern in the animal we call the Wal-Mart Employee? Is El Paso just the center of Satanic Wal-Mart worshiping? I’d urge anyone with the time to spare to go and try to witness, first-hand, this totally disturbing yet hilarious ritual at your local Wal-Mart.
If you do, be sure to laugh loudly and point and maybe snap these people out of the evil spell Wal-Mart seems to have cast over them.
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