Spoil the other movies with your knowledge of the series!

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
Take a scene, then add additional dialogue/actions that totally ruins it!

Leia (on board Tantive IV): "Darth Vader. Or, should I say 'Dark Father'?"
Vader: "Wait, what?"


Threepio (inside Lars garage): "Oh, thank the Maker. This lubrication bath is-"
Owen: "What was that?"
Threepio: "I was simply thanking the Maker for-"
Owen: "That brat Anakin Skywalker used to call himself 'The Maker' that whole short time he was here. Punk."
Luke: "Skywalker? Is that my father?"
Owen: "I mean, Anakin Starkiller. Totally different person. No relation."
Luke: "Oh..."


Vader (on board Executor): "And NO disintegrations!"
Fett: "I've never disintegrated anything. Not on screen, not even in a Clone Wars cartoon."
Vader (mumbles): "Probably end up in some stinking pit someday..."
Fett: "What was that?"


Obi-Wan (near Outlander Club): "Why do I get the feeling you'll be the death of me someday."
Anakin: "Like that would ever happen. I'd rather have my arm chopped off first."
Obi-Wan: "More machine than man, eh?"
Anakin: "I - am - iron man! Duh nuh nuh nuh-nuh-nuh, nuh nuh nah!"


Padme (at Watto's shop): "You're a slave?"
Anakin: "I'm a... slaaaave for you."
Padme: "Eww!"
Anakin: "Wonder who'll be more popular in the galaxy in the future: Jake Lloyd or Brittney?"
Padme: "Why did the names 'Luke' and "Leia" just come to mind?"
Jar-Jar: "Whosah needs da vote for de emergency powers?!"
 

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
Bail Organa (on Alderaan): "My child, never EVER play with a Saw."
Child Leia: "Why, father?"
Bail: "That might hurt you."
Leia: "Okay..."
Bail: "And that could... take my breath away! Now go!"
Leia: "Maybe this will make sense some day, I... hope."

Anakin (in Outlander Club): "Jedi business. Go back to your drinks."
Club patron: "Oh, yeah? What actually IS 'Jedi business' anyway? I bet you're plotting to overthrow the galaxy with your hokey religion and sorcererous ways. They haven't given you clairvoyance enough to find that shapeshi-"
Anakin: "I find your-"
Obi-Wan: Stop it, Butt-the-Learner! I am your master, padawan!"
Anakin: "Fine." (mutters under breath: "One of these days..." )

Han (on the Falcon): "It is for me, sister!"
Leia: "No; that's Luke."
Han: "What are you talking about?"
Leia: "You said, 'sister.' That's what Luke should call me."
Han: "I don't know where you get your delusions of grandeur."
Leia: "Somehow I've always known..."
Luke: "Hey! Remember when we swung over that chasm a little bit ago? 'Member? ... that was cool..."

Yoda (on Dagobah): "The cave... remember your failure at the cave!"
Luke: "Uh, I won that battle. Vader's decapitated. Sure, my head was in his helmet, but that's just a metaphor that my enemy is all up in my dome and I'm just gonna listen to A Tribe Called Kast on my Dr. E headphones and drown out the haters as I pop a cap in his asteroid, yo."
Ben: "And THAT boy was our last hope?"
Yoda (sighing): "No. Find the 'other'."
 

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
Kenobi: "Obi-Wan? Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time."
Luke: "In a galaxy far, far away?"
Kenobi: "Sigh... you know, now I do remember owning a droid; got his head ripped off. Let me help you with that..."

Anakin: "Whoa! That black leather outfit is amazing! Me likey!"
Padme: "But we need to deliver our semi-Shakespeare lines now."
Anakin [aside]: "Methinks the lady doth protest too much... but lookin' Tatooine hot, hot hot!"

Tarkin: "Vader; release him."
Vader: "And don't YOU choke on your aspirations, too, Admiral."
Tarkin: "What? What did you say?"
Vader: "I want a catch-phrase. Aspirational choking shall be mine."
Tarkin: "Your sad devotion to that ancient meme culture will-"
Vader: "Alright, alright! As you wish." [kicks "sand" by his feet in disappointment]

Han: "Must've had a self-destruct. I didn't hit it that hard."
[everyone who's hearing this in the control room]: "Must... resist... saying... 'that's what she said' line..."
Leia: "An imperial probe droid... I guess we'll just use the Force."
Han: "So that's how that works? Wow: like a Staples Easy Button..."

Yoda: "When I am gone... the last... of the Jedi, you will be."
Luke: "So, no female Jedi?"
Yoda: "Hard to see the future is... strong female leads... audiences may later... expect."
Luke: "But little product with them featured on the packaging?"
Yoda: "Always, have you... looked away, to the future... Luke'd away... heh, heh, heh... good one" [coughs; dies]
Luke: "Will I look good in a beard someday? Luke good... heh, heh, heh!"
 

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
I can't believe that this thread never took off...

Han, speaking to Chewie in Hoth's Echo Base: "No; THAT one goes there. THIS one goes here. Got it?"
Chewie: "Grrraaghh!"
Han: "What do mean, 'I have spoken. This is the way'?"

Lama Su: "But you must be anxious to inspect the units for yourself."
Obi-Wan: "That's why I'm here!"
Taun We: [coughs] "Certainpointofviewmyfoot!"

Luke, watching the body of Anakin burn on Endor. Walks away, exhausted.
Teek: "Mine!" [takes helmet, speeds away]
Wicket: "Echa woo dismoney yaya!" ["And that's the first order of Disney business!"]
Luke: "What was that?"

X-Wing pilot, on Yavin 4: "Who designed the exhaust port area, again?"
General Dodonna: "Ray."
Pilot: "Ray, who?"
General Dodonna: "Ray Shielding. I used to work with him in the Empire. Nice guy. Terrible punner."
 

El Chuxter

Jedi Peacekeeper
Aug 16, 2001
20,471
28
Artemis Club
"Only a slightly trained girl, with the Force as her ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor."

"What?"

"Um, 'a fully trained Jedi Knight,' I said."
 

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
Bespin protocol droid: "E chu ta!"
Threepio: "Everything you just said is wrong."

In Chalman's cantina on Tatooine:
Han: "I'm Han Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon."
Obi-Wan: "You're the solo captain?"
Han: "No. My name is Han Solo, and I'm the captain of that ship."
Obi-Wan: "From a certain point of view..."
Han: "[email protected] fool. I knew you'd say something like that."
Obi-Wan: "I only lie about vague things... and add words to my name, too..."

Anakin: "What are midichlorians?"
Qui-Gon: "I wish that were so."
Anakin: "What? I don't remember hearing about that."
Special Edition Blu-Ray Qui-Gon: "If you wait long enough, no one else will either."

Obi-Wan, on Dagobah: "That boy was our last hope."
Yoda: "The last Jedi, you say? As Skywalker rises away?"
Obi-Wan: "No. Will we ever find out about this cave here? Or midichlorians?"

Poe, on Kijimi: "Did you just take a photo of us?"
Threepio: "No. I am just taking one last look at my friends."
Poe: "Okay."
Threepio: "This will make a great meme, I am sure."
Finn: "What?"
Threepio: "Oh, nothing. I said 'you're all great to me, I'm sure.'"
 

JediTricks

Jedi Council Member
Aug 14, 2001
38,506
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Los Angeles, CA
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That boy is our last hope.

No, there is another.

Yeah, but we probably won't need her.


-------------


Young fool, only now at the end do you understand.

Father, please!

What's the point when he can come back from the dead?
 

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
On Hoth, over Echo Base PA system: "The first transport, is away! Just win the war! This voice-over work is a snap..."
Rebel soldier: "Wait, what?"

Yoda: "Always, has he looked away... to the future."
Luke: "Like that time when we burned down that tree together?"
Yoda: "Burned that tree, I did! Wait, how do you know that?"
Ben: "Our last hope, eh?"

Han: "Don't worry. I know some maneuvers."
[Falcon just goes in one direction]
TIE Pilot: "Too bad he doesn't know you can stop and pull back on the stick to turn around in space!"
 

El Chuxter

Jedi Peacekeeper
Aug 16, 2001
20,471
28
Artemis Club
Fode/Beed: "And in the lead, it's Skywalker!"
Weazel: "I'd love to be able to drive like that. But I think a bike's more my style."
Watto: "What?!?"

"It's your father's lightsaber. He wanted you to have it when you were good enough. But he ultimately wanted it buried in the sand, near your grandmother."

"I can't abide those Jawas. Disgusting creatures!"
"You think they're bad? You've never seen them eat. "
 

Bel-Cam Jos

Jedi Council Member
Aug 16, 2001
16,525
77
107
Where 'text' & 'friend' are nouns
On the DS2, Luke: "You're wrong, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
Palpatine: "At least you aren't all the Jedi."
Luke: "I am the last Jedi."
Palpatine: "Rise and awaken, Lord Vader."
Luke: "See you around decades later, grandkid of my father..."

On Jakku, Lor San Tekka: "This will begin to make things right."
Poe: "Why do all these trilogies begin with data storage items?"
Lor: "Not the prequels."
Poe: "I have a bad feeling about that."
Lor: "We don't really say that here anymore."
[villager outside screams like Wilhelm]
Lor: "Nope; not that one, either."

On Endor, Threepio: "It's against my programing to impersonate a deity."
Han: "I think you're still gonna do it. It's not like an evil language will prevent you from it."
Ewok: "Hababa heesa he!"
Han: "What's he saying?"
Threepio: "It sounds like 'he's my oldest friend,' I think."

On Dagobah, Yoda: "Mine! Or I will help you not."
Luke: "Geez! You people and stealing little shiny things from starships!"
Yoda: "You people?"

[edit]
Luke: "You're wrong, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father B-4ME."
Palpatine: "You being the son of a droid makes about as much sense as me having a granddaughter."
Vader: "Uh, little help here? Guy who's mostly a droid; chopped-off hand?"

Lor San Tekka: "This will begin to make things right."
Poe: "You mean, an ancient lady will finally give Chewbacca a medal after all these decades?"
Lor: "Exactly. Roll credits."
 
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